And either way, you're not completely grossed out. You frequently step in something wet and have to ask yourself if it's water, juice, or urine. Your boss asks you to wipe his butt, or claws at your breasts to nurse and it's a completely acceptable, welcomed even. Bodily functions are part of your daily routine, and you're not even a doctor! You deserve this vacation, and you're going to soak up every minute in the dollar aisle if that's what it takes. You pamper yourself with a venti coffee and stroll the aisles of pet supplies (even though you don't haven't owned a furry friend in years) just to delay your checkout a little longer. Trips to Target alone count as self-care. You frequently find your boss sleeping on the job and staff insubordination is rewarded with Happy Meals and dum-dum suckers. Your "corner office with a window" is mobile.Īnd it's usually littered with goldfish crackers, hides dried up french fries, carries a questionable smell, and is coated in something sticky. GAME! So why after a long day "at the office" is your bank account suffering from withdrawal symptoms? Ughhh. You signed your toddler up for tumbling and you picked up your husband's dry cleaning. You went to the grocery store, you caught up on all the bills, you stocked up the toiletries and got your kid a new pair of shoes for gym class. Unlike your working mom counterparts, the more you get done in a day, the LESS money you have. Your kids are just going to get boogers and food all over you anyway, so what's the point? 5. You slap on some tinted moisturizer and your "good leggings" if you're really feeling fancy, but most days your fuzzy socks, stretched out yoga pants, and that sweater with the hole in it. You might spend your entire day at home, but that doesn't mean you have time to waste on petty activities like showers or personal hygiene. Your best friends are named dry shampoo and perfume. And sometimes, even knowing that, you're willing to take the risk anyways because you just NEED. You spend most of the day silently begging for peace and quiet, but you know it's bad when it happens.īut you know if you get it, something catastrophic is going down. You plan birthday parties in your sleep - that's how good you are. You pay bills while you clean the house, and you make grocery lists in the shower. You have managed to learn how to cook a meal while breastfeeding, tie shoes with one hand while zipping coats with the other and answer important phone calls while deflecting nerf darts. If mom takes a day off, the whole house goes to hell. If anything, they will make sure to shower you with extra screams and destruction to keep your mind off your raging fever. Your kids won't ease up if you feel like garbage. Here are some of the humorous realities that we face on the daily, yet still manage to make it through the day alive. If you've done it you know, it's not easy. Whether you've made a decision to stay home or you do so out of necessity, there are parts of being a stay at home mom that only those living the all-day parenting show will understand.
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